Insanity and Beyond~

It has been a while since I post anything from here...

Ahem!

Anyway... I’ve been trying to read fewer books and concentrate more on writing. As the result, I now have 5 on-going fictions in ff.net.

I posted my new fiction called Worth Fighting For last week, trying to turn How I Ended Up In Therapy as a chaptered story and trying to write another romance/comedy fiction.

Yeah, I’m insane.

I thought that I shouldn’t stop myself if the ideas are pouring out.

But I probably going to hold the idea of posting another story since I’m going to be AFK in July to November a lot!!

News

Hey~

It seems that I've been busy catching up with my writing :D

New chapters of Zutto Mae Kara and Falling Over Me are now complete!

My beta sent me the beta-ed version of ZMK. And I'm waiting for FOM.

But I think I'm going to update ZMK on 15 June :D

I'm trying to figure out how to end Love Song. Perhaps the next chapter will be the last. Or second last?

I was thinking of dropping Tangled Up In You.

And perhaps turn How I Ended Up In Therapy into a long shot story?

Anyway.. I decided to separate my J-pop fangirlism to other blog ファンガールオーバーロード in tumblr since it was easy to reblog. I had a tumblr account for a while and never really post anything. I guess, zetsubouaichan is going to be a place where I rant about my daily life and fanfiction? Yay!

Anyway, I'm working on another fanfiction (of course it's going to be Cardcaptor Sakura). No, I didn't showcase the story on my last post: Sneak Peek #2. I think I'm going to try to write a romance with a bit of historical. magical element in it. I probably going to add in a bit politics in the story. (hint: princess!) But, nothing is confirm yet although the early draft is there... I guess, it depends if I manage not to get distracted  to things or work :D However, I'm going to focus more on ZMK, FOM and Love Song first.

Sneak Peek #2: Unfinished & Unpublished

Showcasing a few Cardcaptor Sakura (mainly) fanfiction (unfinished and unpublished) work...

I was sitting comfortably on the sofa, hugging my legs while watching TV. They were having a two hours marathon of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. I have to tell you that it’s weird watching an anime where the main character had the same name as you. It’s even more awkward when the hero had the same name as your boyfriend. -- Give a Little Love, Last progress: 7 July 2011

 Li Syaoran didn’t mean to eavesdrop. It wasn’t his style or his habit to do so. But he was bored that evening (and her voice sounded like music to his ear). His cousin, Meiling had told him that something came up, and he have to wait for her for a bit longer. He couldn’t help but to listen to the conversation between two ladies who sat behind his booth. -- Good Lucky, Last progress: 29 September 2011

Last night, the woman had texted him. She told him that she had a problem, which needs to be solved, and she needs his help. She had promised to meet him here; in the café at 8a.m. He had showed up 30 minutes earlier as he did not want the woman to have to wait for him as they had promised to have breakfast together. -- Kareshi, Last progress: 19 June 2009

Li Syaoran jerked awake when someone splashed some cold water on him. He shook his head to dry himself and noted that his hand was cuffed behind him. He squinted and saw a guy sat before him. -- Premonition, Last progress: 18 August 2011

 There was never a day that I would imagine putting myself in danger.Well, I didn’t have to try imagining things because my life has been in danger once I got myself into this adventure. There were countless of time where I was kidnapped and almost get myself killed by those idiots. -- The Story of Us, Last progress: 1 December 2011

 I can't believe it has been three years since Kareshi! :O

The End of Wedding Enslavement!

My brother is married! Congratulation! There's too much picture and I'm too lazy to look at them and post them in facebook. Haha... But the good news is that I'm free from wedding enslavement and back to writing. Probably going to update my story in middle of June?

The Dark Side of The Force: Changing

Although I did say that I'm going to have a new start and share a lot of things about me so that people get to know me better... it seems that I've been posting a whole lot about my obsession on J-pop XD  

“変わらない物”求めたり。。。人は弱くて

Those who desire for "things that remained unchanged", are weak

“変わり行く事”望んだり。。。人は強くて

Those who wish for "Changing things", are strong

These are bits of lyric from W-inds' Eien no Tochuu 「永遠の途中」。 I really like these two lines on changing. I think I could be categorized as a weak person since I don't really like changing.

But recently, there have been a lot of changing around me these past few years… 

1. I somehow have graduated from uni with a bachelor degree on culinary (although I haven’t found any use of that paper… yet). 
2. I got myself a step mother (which is a pretty big change for me and I still haven’t get through that… yet). 
3. Somehow I get infected with virus (a disease called bellpalsy) and got half my face paralyzed for a month or so (and I still haven’t recovered 100% from that). I still can’t smile properly or pout properly.
4. I returned to fanfiction.net, write some new stories and some of them are well accepted :D
5. My brother is married (it’s weird).
6. Takahashi, Mitsui and Niigaki graduated from Morning Musume and H!P (lol again with my fangirlism?)

Those are a few examples of changes around me for these past few years. Although I’m not very fond of changes, they happened. I get to (have to or forced to?) cope myself with them. 

I guess, these changes change me and everyone around me too. Although in my part, I’m not sure if I’m coping with them positively (ahaha) since I think of myself as a negative person (hence my frequent visit to the dark side of the force). To tell the truth, some of these changes are making me a bit lonely…  

Then (because I’m a returnee to the dark side of the force) I might be shutting myself out from people around me (while smiling prettily on some occasions) with trying to avoid making conversation and so on. Perhaps because I refuse to cope with the change. Or perhaps my heart couldn’t take on how lonely I am? Perhaps I refused to be miserable at all time that I decided to make myself meaner? Hmm… I think I’ll go with the first one.

But I think, my shutting myself out and trying to be meaner and a lot harsher on myself is making me miserable too. Am I trying to hurt myself? Which reminds me to this quote from XXX Holic’s.

You don’t understand that when you get hurt, those who care about you are also hurt when they see it – spider spirit, XXX Holic

So friends and family (whom I’m pretty sure wouldn't be reading this blog except when I told them to), I’m sorry if I have somehow hurt you with a sudden change of attitude. I’ll get used to the changes. I’ll move on (everyone did that). Although I’m not sure that I would stay the same (now I have the sudden urge to sing Joey McIntyre’s Stay The Same). 

But I think I must prepare myself for a few more changes in the future since:

My best friend got herself a job somewhere farther… Since I usually confide in her when I’m lonely and sad… well, I’m going to get lonely again. (We’re pretty close that we were accused as a lesbian by some jealous person).Thankfully, there’s telephone and all that!

I've been going through job applications, went through a few interviews, get accepted for a few positions, but still… I’ve been staying home (not that I’m complaining. Staying home was fun!) But, I think, I may have to start working next month! Although this wasn't definite news.

What about you? Anything life changing recently?